Teacher: “Why couldn’t you do homework?”
Me: I was watching something important
what the fuck kind of theme for nail polish is “germany”
seriously have we really gone through every other idea in the world
did you do it for the puns
these aren’t even good puns
i am so disappointed
I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING
'these aren't even good puns' erm excuse you but “Don't Talk Bach To Me” is fucking comedy gold
I can’t wait to get married because its like a sleepover every night with your best friend.
That’s the cutest description of marriage I’m not even joking
It’s better than ‘betting someone half your stuff that you’ll love them forever’
"dark lipstick makes you look intimidating"
good. stay the hell away from me.
Why did Benedict Cumberbatch walk on stage with the cast of Twelve Years a Slave?
because he’s a fucking douchebag
He is in the fucking movie dipshits